Soul Friend

During one of my education lectures (I think...) there was a bunch of discussion about relationships and different types of people, and the term 'Anam Cara' came up. This is, pretty literally, the Irish for Soul Friend. The concept is relatively simple, or I'm making it too simple: you have a friend you can tell anything.

I suppose it goes deeper than that. It's a relationship. Not a romantic one, by necessity, but a relationship nonetheless, like every other friendship or business partnership you'll ever have, and as such the implication that you can tell this one person anything also suggests that they, too, can tell you anything. The mutual level of trust is there, even if it becomes shaky at times - my own personal experience of the matter, and not something I wish to try again.

It's not just about trust, though. I mean, we all place a degree of trust in the people we talk to. We trust teachers. We (used to almost always) trust priests. We trust our parents. We just the chaplain at our school/college. But that doesn't mean we tell them everything, and it doesn't mean we feel the same way about them as we do about our Soul Friend.

The term itself suggests a connection that runs deeper than just the talk and the other aspects of a friendship, like drunkenly laying an arm over someone's shoulder. It's something you can't explain, really, no matter how hard you try and no matter how many words you have in your vocabulary. It's a form of love that can't be broken, but not the same as a parent's love for his/her child, or the same as the sort of love you have for someone in a romantic (and sexual) relationship. It's a run-deep kind of love that doesn't get celebrated on Hallmark day.

I believe in the idea of the Soul Friend. I believe in it because sometimes, even for an attendee of God College, believing in God and having faith in God is difficult. I believe in God's existence alright, but more often my faith is placed in my Soul Friend. It's a comfort thing, on one level, having someone there to talk to, but it's also something more basic than that - I have faith that he can do right. It's what we lack in God, sometimes; there's a great expectation that nothing should go wrong, then a tsunami strikes and thousands die, along with the faith of thousands more. Without getting to religious on the matter, I'd say it's because the love for God and the faith in God lacks two-way communication, lacks the certain security that comes with the sound of another human voice telling you everything's going to be okay, even when there's nothing wrong, telling you how to deal with something when you didn't ask, and letting you talk when you need someone to listen. God listens alright, but the problem I reckon lots of people have is that it's like it's all forgotten a second later and nothing ever gets done.

You can't just look for your Soul Friend. It sounds unfair, I know, that some people have them and others don't, but it's not the richest or the happiest, or the poorest or the saddest that find a Soul Friend. It just happens. It happens and you can't escape it, and you don't want to lose it when you find it. I know if I thought I'd like this friendship, nothing would stop me trying to make things right. I suppose that's dangerous, too, because it means I can put myself in some sort of physical danger, firstly, as well as emotional danger if it just can't be fixed, if the pieces don't quite fit back anymore.

That was my worry once, until I found new pieces that held the old ones together, too.

I write this, on a Friday night because really I don't do anything beyond going to the cinema, but specifically on a Friday because that's the day my interviews will be posted when they're done. Friday is my sort of Friendship Appreciation Day, and Hallmark won't ruin that. But for me, friendship isn't just confined to one day on my blog. Every day in my friendships is important. I just make sure not to test things with my Soul Friend on a Tuesday. Long story. I won't be telling it.

That Was...Different

In contrast to my birthday "celebrations" on Tuesday (steak, basically), I went out last night. I don't go out very much. This experience was not entirely alien to me. Not entirely.

But I drank. I mean, I've had alcohol before, but never very much. Last night... enough to get drunk. Being drunk for the first time because your friend insists of getting you drinks (I didn't exactly put up much of an argument... as if I would have been heard over the thumping music, anyway!) and then proceeding to drink said drinks and liking them... too much... well, it was all different.

I don't know what it's like for everyone else who's ever gotten drunk, but for me there was a sudden realisation that I was drunk, when I heard myself laugh in a way I don't normally laugh. And I didn't care.

I won't disclose the details of my alcohol related banter, except that it was, as they say, mighty. It was probably the best night of my life. I suppose I do owe that to the friend who bought me all the drinks (we were doing rounds... and he skipped me sometimes). I mean, it was great in the house beforehand, having pizza and a bit of craic with the Wii (I barely ever use the consoles in my house!), but things just got so much better when we got to the pub. It wasn't just the drinks, like. He came all the way from Meath for the night out (after I pestered him repeatedly...) and that really meant a lot to me. Plus the rest of my friends were still great craic.

It made up for the entirely boring Tuesday. Mainly I was in a mood, and I took it out on people in general rather than specific people, but I was just moaning for the sake of moaning, not for the sake of actually meaning anything by it. I've explained that to a few people already now, but it does deserve its place in the public spotlight from whence the trouble came.

Now... the hangover. I've seen lots of people with hangovers. There are grumpy hangovers, sleepy hangovers, moaning hangovers, giddy hangovers - many of which are also a combination of alcohol still being in the system - and then there was my hangover - the hungry hangover. I keep wanting to eat... everything. I've never felt so hungry for no reason at all, the feeling unabated by a Twirl bar and two cups of tea (and that after my breakfast this morning!). I didn't have a headache, which was weird. I didn't struggle out of bed (I got up before my alarm!). I didn't really feel the alcohol... I mean, I was tired from lack of sleep, but not crippled by it. I just want to eat... a lot.

I could say that this is all research into my books. I could very easily pass it all off as that. But honestly, it was just a lot of banter, and I don't regret any of it.

And finally, a massive public thanks to everyone who came last night and made the night so worthwhile!

Review - Will Grayson Will Grayson

What happens when you take two New York Times bestselling authors, throw in some homosexuality, some musical references, two characters with the same name and a big ball of irony? The answer is simple: Will Grayson Will Grayson, the fantastic novel from John Green and David Levithan. Set in Illinois, in two parts of it, the book follows the adventures of two teenage boys by the name of Will Grayson. One has a gigantic gay best friend, the other is a closet homosexual, and the book isn't technically about either of them.

What do you mean it's not about them? They're the title characters!

While this facet of information is true, the book revolves around the character of Tiny Cooper - our big ball of irony, and Will 1's gay bezzie. (I can't believe I just wrote that, honestly.) To quote Will 1, 

 "Tiny Cooper is not the world's gayest person, and he is not the world's largest person, but I believe he may be the world's largest person who is really, really gay, and also the world's gayest person who is really, really large." 

Tiny's social gravity captures everyone into an orbit they cannot seem to escape. From the Wills to the girls they're friends with, and spreading outwards into Illinois in general - mainly the school - Tiny Cooper brings the whole ensemble of characters together.

So why didn't they call the book Tiny Cooper?
Because then we can't see the wonderful device they use to illustrate that names aren't always appropriate. Two Will Graysons almost expect to be the same. They have an imaginary club - One Will Grayson to another. If the book was called Tiny Cooper, we'd never get to see what Tiny has to offer, because we'd be looking too hard. Really, when you read this book you need to just read it and let it take you by surprise. It's handy, of course, that the authors are brilliant and witty, and so we get distracted from the universe in their comedies and tragedies and before we know it we're halfway through the book and finally used to how Levithan writes his chapters - he writes Will 2's parts; you'll understand what's so difficult about the reading of his chapters when you read them.

You keep saying "when"...
This is true - you will read this book. Rude not to. It's perhaps one of the greatest books I've ever read, because in its imperfections we are exposed to the humanity of the situation. This is a character based book. Characters have imperfections. They are, aside from the physical, human. Everything that's wrong with this book - things I can't even think of, because the good shines out over the good - is completely right as being part of the whole. So yes, I say "when" because you really ought to read this book to see the importance of names and how we can see people in different ways. And the ending is just fantastic!

So what now?
Now..? Now I have to hunt down some of David Levithan's books. I've read all of John Green's published novels. I have to wait for the next one. This has not happened to me before. I have not been in a situation of having read all of John Green's books and having to wait for the next one. So I have to read David Levithan's books and hope they're a wonderful substitute! From the impression I get of him from John Green, I will be suitably pleased.

Now, buy the book, read it, love it!

Birthday

I'm twenty. That's finally happened. All the semblances of youth - hanging on to the teenage years - are gone. Now I'm at that point where I have none of that and I'm still too young to drink in America. Not that I plan on going to America within the next year, but the point still stands. I am in a limbo year.

I have noticed that my birthday is just another day. Except some people give me presents. And my mum asked us specifically what we want for dinner (us being myself and That Guy I Am, who coincidentally also turned twenty today). My birthday has been dull, waiting for the ritual of Facebook messages from people who won't send them and for maybe something to happen that would make the day worthwhile.

Basically... no.

Up until this morning, I didn't even care about my birthday. I literally let That Guy I Am make all the plans for us. I can't say I was even especially ecstatic today. I was in a much better mood yesterday. Today just has too much expectation for anything, while V-Day is just a big ball of suck I can pleasantly be a cynic about.

And I still wait for that anything.

The day matters so little to me, relative to the hype of birthdays, that I've started writing an essay for college on the call of St Paul and his transformation from Pharisee and persecutor of the early Christians to apostle to the Gentiles. That is how little this day matters.

But I still wait.

I wait for the anything and I wait for the messages that won't come because part of me wants the hype of birthdays to be true, to live up to something, to matter. I wanted to let the day matter. I wanted to not be such a moan on my own birthday. That's just not me. But I sat more or less alone at lunch (admittedly it was because my friends all decided to sit on the opposite side of the table to me, but almost entirely out of earshot). I changed my routine of going to the library and doing work or writing or anything else, just because these were my friends and for a while it seemed like they wanted me there.

I wait, and I become a cynic about my own friends and about my own birthday, and I know that a lot of what I say is just the cynicism, and that I did want to be with my friends on my birthday. But I would have preferred if they had actually spoken to me.

And I wait.

Sweetness

It's that most wonderful time of the Hallmark calender - Valentine's Day. Good Lord, someone set fire to the card displays (or just throw them out, like a co-worker accidentally did!). It's not that I don't like the idea of showing affection for people... it's just that I'm entirely opposed to the idea of Valentine's Day. Looking at the relatively new 'Pinkies Blog', I can see I'm not the only person living in Dublin that has this problem of once-annually limited-love.

It gets worse.

So. Much. Worse.

I go to a religious college. Things are supposed to be... well, religious. Not secular. Not at all secular. Not hanging red shiny banners and love-hearts and balloons and bowls of sweets on the tables.

Oh. My. God.

Really? Giving sugar to students? Pretending Valentine's Day means anything beyond Hallmark? It was disgusting (though the same cannot be said for the sweets...). I mean, it's not even like people were displaying any more affection than normal. They were just messing with the balloons and eating the sweets and generally not giving a damn about the whole thing. It was just a secular celebration bastardising a religious tradition of celebrating the martyr saint who believed in marriage. Marriage. See that word? I know you know what that means. It's not about cards with mushy messages on them on one specified day of the year (that's what anniversaries are for!). It's not about chocolates and romantic evenings. It's not about getting that special someone something shiny.

For people who care about presents and who want an excuse to show they love someone, Valentine's Day can be good. Of course, it's also selfish and an excuse for romance, as if it could save a marriage.

Complete and utter rubbish. More couples break up around now than any other time of the year! And the rest suffer through the process of having to get the other person something new and shiny for them to forget about two weeks later. It's like secularised Christmas, only without the mass that people feel obliged to attend.

As one of the candy hearts said today (yes, candy hearts... hence, 'Sweetness'), 'Bye bye'. (What an utterly romantic and fulfilling sentiment...)

Where Things Are Going

Since I've been back online, I've been working at getting my interviews with people - as I announced yesterday. I have five lined up. As well as that, I'll be doing something which will feature on Mondays, though that'll be delayed for a bit as I get my feet on the ground. The same as something which will take up Tuesdays and Saturdays. Wednesdays will be for reviews.

But that's just the blog point of view of things. I have so much more to do, aside from college work. As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I have a few places to submit to. I also have plans to continue to work on Meet Sam, and work on a new book. I'll be working on them in rotation - one chapter of the new book, one fifth of Meet Sam. At that rate, I'll get that finished pretty early on while the other book will actually get somewhere in its writing. While that does also seem to block my progress later, I do have to then read over and edit Meet Sam again to make sure it's alright. Lots of work ahead of me...

When the new book is finished, or when I need a break from both books, I'll be working on a play. Or three. Or something. And in the midst of all that, and all my college work, I'll be writing stuff to submit to various magazines and reading books and all the usual stuff I normally do. I just plan on being busier than normal.

Aside from the blog and the books and the plays, I also want to work on screenplays. These will be for either television or films, I don't know yet, but they'll be the screen, anyway. There's a different feel to scripts in plays and films, so it all depends on what I want to write at the time - different ideas will need a different medium. I already have an idea for a mini-series, though I'm not sure how that'd work. I've to read up on that, still.

To get myself motivated for work, I've made up a list of things that I can write about when it comes to submissions - or just general ideas for work! One or two of them require invading the privacy of people, so I've to tread carefully about them and get permission where possible. Basically, it'd be impossible to hide the stories from people if I planned on doing anything with them, so there's no point pretending I didn't write them at all. The other stuff is just common sense, when it comes to the sort of person that I am - books, films, the Internet, religion, etc. Whatever can define me or my activities is what I'll be writing about. Hopefully a lot.

One thing I have to cut out of my life is games, though. Which is a problem, because I'm addicted to them. And when it comes to summer, I need to take something up, to occupy the time in which I need to unwind and a book or a film won't do. I'll probably take a friend's suggestion and go swimming a couple of times a week. I need to see what my working hours are like... or if I even have working hours. Obviously, if I can't afford to pay into the pool I can't go swimming! Sure I could walk, but it's not as good for you as swimming... and I could do with improving the fitness, a bit. Or a lot. I just can't go with That Guy I Am, because he's overly competitive and it just puts me off the whole thing.

So, I've one more week in college - with birthday "celebrations" in the middle of all that - and then I'm off for a week. That'll be the decider week. I have to do college work, obviously, but I also have a chance to get into a routine of doing writing! I'll have a few more weeks of college, then, and three weeks off before exams in May. But after them, after I've burned myself out academically, I'll be free for three and a half months... again. This summer, someone has to force me to write!

Once again, a thousand plans ahead of me. But I like where my head is at right now, so this will be good. I won't just give it all up again. Especially since I'm already suspecting the worst that could happen already. There's not very much that could happen that would catch me entirely off guard, anymore. (Like my shop closing...) I just have to let stuff go, and then I can get somewhere.

Opportunity Knocks

As some of you may know, I have a habit of buying writing magazines. Mostly I don't read them. Today, I bought two. I know, bold of me. Still, I went through them and marked all the things that are immediately of interest to me. I might read the rest, but for now I'm focusing on these parts. I don't buy them unless I can find at least one thing of interest in them to me. Normally if I find that one thing, I find another thing, too.

Today... a grand total of 16 pages marked for reading. Okay, pages means the double-page, not a single page. And it doesn't necessarily mean I'll read the whole thing. These are just places where there could be just one tiny section of interest to me, highlighted again. But other times there are a couple of articles on these pages that are of interest. It was kind of worth the money, this time!

What I hope to do, as a result of finding a few of these things, is take advantage of the opportunities available in them. There are competitions and submission opportunities highlighted that I want to actually do something about. I just felt the need to tell people about this. And really, bothering my friends with texts that are only of interest to me feels a bit weird. (Especially since about three people would get the same text, and one of them might reply...)

In other news (that was news?), I've begun to bother the people of Twitter for my new feature - I'm looking to "interview" people every Friday. This will entail a discussion of 1. them, personally (who they are, where they live, what they do for a living, etc.) and 2. the creative thing they do that has me getting in touch with them in the first place. I'm more drawn to writers, but as I'm also a fan of music I won't turn that down. This is to replace my Friday Friend feature from last year. Well, it's to change it. The old archive is about people I know, with nicknames I gave them for this blog. This new feature will have people's real names - if they use them online - but I won't specify if I know them or not. It occurs to me I'll be able to bother some people I do know, but that's a different matter.

So, why am I doing it? Well, firstly I want to network. I figure the best way to do that is to get a chat going. Through the personal discussion, I'll get to know the person better (and may continue to talk to them privately after the post) and through the other discussion I'll be showcasing new and interesting people to my readers (it feels weird to say I have readers, when it's mainly friends from college who aren't sick of my blog posts). The hope is that the people I interview will also link to the interview they're in, and maybe come back to see who else is being interviewed.

Secondly, I want a feature on my blog that actually interests me and won't dive into people's privacy without their permission. Bold Paul was bold last year. This new idea has me excited already, and I'll be bothering people who I think are suitable for this pretty soon!

Thirdly, I want the practice. As I plan on writing for a living, doing interviews and stuff like this early on will show that I'm fully capable of doing it later in life. I'll be working around college, too, so things will be a little bit busy for me throughout the year. And I'll have basically nothing to do in the summer...

So, if you're interested in being interviewed, please get in touch - if you comment, make sure that I can follow a link (either by including it in the comment or submitting it with your name when you post) so that I can see how suitable you are, and please have some way of being contacted through that - even a Twitter page will do! What I ask in return is that you answer the questions, keep in touch, link to the post (it's showcasing YOU anyway!) and maybe suggest other people afterwards (so I can keep the feature going).

Now, time for me to start answer the door to opportunity. It's raining tonight... must be soaked!