Monday, August 22, 2011

Why You Found Me

Since hearing the Chameleon Circuit song Everything is Ending in the middle of July, I've had this thought in my head, based on the line: "And this must be why you found me." We find each other. But, you know, it doesn't seem like it happens on purpose. The most unlikely friendships in the world seem to be of some benefit to the people involved, but there's no real way of planning their existence.

I've been through a lot of crap in my life. That's undeniable, with some of the people I went to school with. (It's not just that, but it's one of the things that stands out that I feel comfortable enough to share with the Internet - friends know the rest.) But it seemed to me that because of all the crap, I just couldn't trust people straight away. It takes a lot for people to earn my trust, even if they don't realise they're doing it. It's not malicious and it's not because I'm not friends with people, I just don't trust very easily.

But then... well, I suppose I was found. The very first time I thought about telling someone what was going on in my head, about some of the crap in my life, it just felt right. It had nothing to do with anybody else I was friends with: I just felt like I could trust this one person without really knowing for sure that I could. For the first time in my life, I could trust someone completely without them needing to earn it.

Something like that is special. I've never met another person who, the moment I felt like I should say something, I did. I was able to come out of my shell a bit, do things I'd never done and I never felt alone. That's weird, isn't it? I mean, there were plenty of times when this friend wasn't around, but even just talking on the phone or getting the odd text or seeing comments on the Internet, just felt right. Everything in my life just seemed to fit properly because I had a friend I could trust.

Mind you, I never thought I would trust him. I never once thought about telling him anything, because I didn't feel it bothering me. My whole life I'd been looking for a friend like him, though (very clear memories of primary school trying to make friends with different people... none of it seemed right!). I stopped looking a very long time ago, but then it just happened.

Things like that don't happen all the time. I know that. But the point of all this: when you're found by a friend (or otherwise) like this, don't let it go. It'll be one of the most important relationships in your life. It will change you for the better, without you even meaning it to. It will just happen.

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