Saturday, July 9, 2011

System Failure

The past few days have been...boring.

Yes, this is another one of those woe-is-me-rants that I'm so annoying for. Well, not really. Okay, did you ever just want to talk to somebody and you can't because they've disappeared off the face of the earth? That's kind of what happened. That's made the week a lot less fun.

Also, my Internet connection keeps cutting out. We lost it four times since Monday, which kind of put a dampener on writing up a review on Wednesday. We've been trying to get it sorted. Every time the provider gets involved, things tend to get worse. Also, they're only giving us 1.8 MB broadband, when we're paying for 8. They really should have realised that a few years ago when they started receiving money from us. Now they're overcharging us and providing crappy tech support.

The biggest problem with the week is that I stopped writing. Just suddenly. No reason at all. I think I'll go on a mad one tomorrow and write a few thousand words (I am so very exciting all of the time...) Bliss, my Camp NaNo novel, is currently standing at 16000 words, while Dignity has a few thousand more (though less typed...) I want to get Bliss done quickly so I can get back to Dignity. Just needed to write something a little less...real? A Sci-Fi pretty much filled the bill, anyway.

Related to that first thing I mentioned... did you ever almost do something you might regret then have to force yourself not to be an idiot? Just me then. No matter how many times people call me smart, intelligent or any variation of the word, inevitably I will disagree with them because of one point: socially, I'm a bit of an idiot. If the various problem I've caused myself over the years aren't evidence enough of that, I almost used a loophole to get around a rule set for me on a list of things I am most certainly never allowed to do. A loophole. A God-damned loophole. They're great for some things, but not for this. So I went against the loophole, and that means I'm still stuck here wondering what on earth has made someone disappear.

Basically, it's all become a bit aggravating; the boredom of the summer is settling in as the list of things worth doing dwindles down into nothing (hence wanting to talk to the one person who has vanished). I'm still not at the stage where I'm so bored I want to go back to lectures, but I'm getting there. I think once I can get out of this slump (bad mood and exhaustion) I can get back on track to writing and to not having to resort to a blog to vent frustrations over little things in life. (I'm not frustrated at any of my friends, because I know they have lives; I'm frustrated with our Internet provider and with myself for being Sleepy and Grumpy and possibly two or three of the other dwarfs... Dopey?)

If I didn't have work tomorrow, and if my body didn't outright refuse to stay in bed, I would just sleep all day. Nothing beats Sunday morning in bed when you're tired, except maybe sleeping in your own bed after being away for a few days. Or sleeping on the ground.* I'm completely drained, I'm going to the cinema tonight and I'm fairly certain that I won't last another week of losing sleep (because of the heat and the constant muttering in my head wondering why I can't seem to make plans with the people I've seen the least all summer).

Hopefully my Internet connection won't die (again) before Wednesday so I can put up a review. And mayb,e just maybe, my slump will be gone by then.

* Yes, I have slept on the ground before. We did it in Connemara (Galway) during Transition Year. It wasn't entirely uncomfortable, though the sunrise was less of a rising sun than the sky gradually turning more bright blue, because of the altitude and the trees. Yes, we slept among trees. We were warned about badgers. That scared a couple of people. We were told to carry sticks to break if a badger bit us - they don't let go until they break a bone, apparently. Fun...

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