Dear Exhaustion

I have good news, and bad news. I'll start with the bad news: I don't yet have the books I'd hoped to work on edited. I was hoping that, with what little time I had off this week, I might be able to turn some attention to them. Alas, no. You see, between the early starts, the distinct lack of any days off, and the beating of the rain on the roof - and poor me in the attic - I lost a lot of sleep that would have otherwise contributed to my editing energy.

The good news, though, is that while I don't yet have the books edited, I have an idea of what I might do with the series. I think it'll look like a December announcement as to whether or not I'll be going ahead with my book-a-month publication on the series, but for now I have things I can do, a publishing schedule vaguely drawn up, and some ideas related to cover design and overall plot.

So, it's a start.

I think the main reason I want to publish this series is because it's something I can control that I really enjoy. Recently, I had been thinking of some film ideas. You know what they say, everyone has an idea for a movie. I had three. A Slenderman movie, a Krampus movie, and an adaptation of Frankenstein.

Well...

Turns out Marble Hornets has been optioned for a film release on the big screen with the director of Sinister (I think... maybe it was Paranormal Activity or Insidious - whatever, one of the big horror directors I would have liked to work with on my Slenderman movie in my wild dreams) connected to it. So, there goes that idea. The Krampus movie, I'm not even sure what's happening with it. One release date on it, a lot of uncertainty about it... I don't know, I could still do it. I have an idea, and an idea is a very good place to start. As for Frankenstein...

Two movies. Yes, two. One, I, Frankenstein, sees Adam in a kind of action role, with two immortal races battling it out. I think one of them are gargoyles. I'm not sure. It's not a typical Frankenstein adaptation, and it's technically mis-titled if you ask me (or anyone who's read the book and knows that you shouldn't call Adam - AKA Frankenstein's monster - by his creator's name. But then, I'm against the idea that Adam should be considered the monster in the first place!) The other one, though, simply titled Frankenstein, stars James McAvoy as Victor Von Frankenstein, and Daniel Radcliffe as Igor, and is therefore a take on the classic films. Not the book.

I don't know what it is about the book, or whether Hollywood just loves the idea of having an Igor, but I haven't heard of an adaptation that follows the same plot as Shelley wrote. Instead there are all of these different paths followed, and the odd decision made to make Victor Frankenstein a Von Frankenstein instead.

Hashtag weird, am I right?*

So, in my heightened state of exhaustion, I managed to see three ideas I had for films get washed away by others who came before me. In a sort of response, I decided to take a couple of completed first drafts and a lot of ideas for follow-ups and connected books, and release them en masse to the world in 2014. I'm aiming for an air of tragi-comedy, dealing with some wit and buffoonery and general craic, while addressing some of the darker elements of ordinary life.

At the very least, it'll keep me busy. And so long as the rain keeps at an acceptable volume, I can write these books in peace without worry of exhaustion creeping in.

*I should probably not do that, right?

Day 3: Brain Stew Has Been Served

Today's writing was hindered by my need for an income; I worked from nine in the morning until six in the evening. It wasn't actually that bad. A little bit boring. The only thing I disliked about it was having to get up early, and then having to walk home. By the time I was finished my dinner, most of the day was already over. That doesn't lend itself well to writing.

In fact, by the time I was half-way home, I had a headache. I blame the heat. That headache didn't go away fully, to which I can attribute some degree to exhaustion. Or something. Words are now refusing to work for me, after writing 2,200 of them for today's writing session. Brain Stew or not, I worked away on the book.

I focused entirely on one chapter, bringing me up to the 'half-way' point, in terms of chapters. Whether it's half-way through the word count, I won't actually know until I'm closer to the end of the book. That word count by the way... over 11,000.

Can I just say now, deciding to write 2,000 words per day was probably one of my better ideas. Just as it is with New Year's Resolutions, the specificity of writing goals is crucial to actually achieving them. Having an overall goal in mind is even greater, too. While I could have told myself to write 60,000 words in a month, that was giving me permission to relax on some days.

But here's the thing: relaxing doesn't usually bode well for me. Also, that implies the writing is work. Yes, it might take some effort to actually sit down at my desk for a few hours, concentrating on the story, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun. Writing has always been enjoyable for me. Taking a day off from it doesn't do me any good. It's like asking me to stop drinking tea. It's too much a part of my day, too important an aspect of my life, to simply give up.

Even with a melted brain and exhaustion setting in, I can't not write something.

There's also the case that I've been wanting to write a lot every day, for a long time. I'd wanted to do it in June, too, but I allowed myself to get lazy. That was the biggest problem I began to face in May, during the exam season, because I wouldn't let myself write without studying, and I was so sick of studying that I couldn't focus on it a lot of the time. The end result was that I did no work. By June, that had made me adverse to working. I eased myself back into it by writing on my blog every day, and writing poems every day, but this is the real test of my ability.

It comes down to one piece of advice I've heard over and over again: to become a truly great writer, you have to write every day. It's not enough to just read about writing. It's not enough to just think about it. You have to write every day, and you it's even better if you write a certain amount every day. Some write ten pages. Others just one. I'm aiming for 2,000 words per day as a minimum, and I hope that one of these days - maybe Friday - I can double it.

Writing every day despite Brain Stew is one of the most important things to take away from NaNoWriMo. Reaching towards a defined goal is up there, too. It's only day three of Camp NaNoWriMo, but I think I'm getting into the swing of things, now. Tomorrow, it's FUFDay. I'm not sure how that'll work in Camp-style, but we'll see. Maybe I'll do something ridiculous like announce the release date for this book and really pile the pressure on.

Get Out of Bed!

For the past three weeks, at the very least, I've been struggling to get out of bed in the morning. This comes as a result of the combination of late-night and early-morning, though most of the time I can't help either of those. Rarely have I stayed up late intentionally, and even more rarely have I wanted or needed to wake up especially early. It just happens.

While I wouldn't mind so much except that I have an inability to fall back asleep once I wake up in the morning, I tend not to do anything. Even when I've had a good sleep - not a common occurrence - I have this difficulty to get out of bed because I'll be comfortable, even if I know I have to do work. Or worse: go somewhere. I think I've only ever gotten out of bed for something that wasn't work or exams over the past three weeks for one person, and that was because I would be late for a much-needed catching-up session I had been hassling about. Other than that, I've been getting out of bed, wasting the morning still exhausted and entirely useless, when I could have been doing something with the day.

And that's the big thing: doing something. I've found that while getting out of bed for exams is difficult and annoying, it comes with the purpose I need to get ready for the day. So I need to just find something to do every day. Right?

This is, of course, much harder with exam season attacking me from every direction. I find that while I want to do something creative, the exams hinder my ability to do so. I feel a sense of guilt for not doing college work, and when I aim to begin I find myself inundated with a sense of procrastination. The time I need to study is wasted, and I don't accomplish anything.

Bummer, right?

This summer, I aim to change all that. If it means setting myself a task for the day, like four thousand words of a novel or a scene of a play or researching something to do with writing (I've been getting my books ready for that one!) then I will. I'll get out of bed to do something like that, because it's something I want to do.

I suppose I can't wait for the last week of exams just to have a week of getting up with intent. Sure, it will be exhausting, it will be annoying, but at least something will be done. Then I'll be busy writing away for three months.

I have a project I'll be undertaking, the details of which will come as soon as I'm ready to make them public. It'll be fun. It'll last a while. And it'll get me out of bed.

I guess I just don't want to waste my summer when I could be doing a trial-run for what could be the rest of my life. That would be weird, wouldn't it?