For me, alcohol is a seldom touched substance. I used to never drink it at all. I had my confirmation vow and an unofficial status as a pioneer. I never actually became one. I was nineteen when I had my first taste of alcohol. Not much has happened since in that field. I can literally recall ever time I drank alcohol. In order.
The first drink was a sip of punch with the wonderful title of Purple Pussy. You really can't get a funnier name for a drink when you're texting someone telling them how much you like a person's drink, purposely failing to mention that it is a drink. I'll let you figure that one out on your own.
After that, sometime later, I had a vodka and orange and something I can only describe as filth. It was the end result of a game of Kings. A horrid mix of all sorts of stuff. I downed it quickly. As we were leaving, we had shots of Micky Finns. I didn't touch another drink that night.
Following that was the Jager Bomb incident. I say incident... I had a Jager Bomb. My first one. It was bought for me. I drank it. I didn't drink anything else that night. I danced with my drunk friend and had a pretty good night out.
Come November, I went out for a friend's birthday. I tasted several people's drinks: beer that tasted like piss, beer that tasted like piss and vomit, Bacardi (dangerous stuff! Far too easy to drink!), Guinness (I'm told one needs to drink more than a sip to appreciate it...), Bulmers, and finally Captain Morgan's and Coke. I settled on the last one. I had one for myself.
A week or two later, there was a table quiz. I got one drink that night that lasted several hours. A single glass of Captain Morgan's and Coke.
New Year's Eve, I drank with my family. I had two or three drinks. Not enough to get even slightly drunk, because that was over the space of several hours. All three were the Captain.
February: my birthday. I got drunk. Between quite a few drinks courtesy of the Captain and a couple of shots of Micky Finns, I was talking quite a bit of rubbish. Well, I wasn't talking rubbish, as such... I was just talking a lot. But I was relaxed. I had a good night. And I only had the munchies the next morning.
My next, and last, time to drink was the night of the Elbow concert. I had two and a half pints of Carlsberg (which, to me, tasted like piss, especially if it got warm... which it did, quickly, since we had plastic cups!), before we went to a pub. I was with the Captain all night. I got drunk. I was also tired. I slammed my head of the bar. It hurt, and I deserved it. Despite putting headdesk into practice, I still had a good night. And I had no hangover the next day, just the munchies again. I call that a success.
There were a few times during all that that I had a drink out, but with the exception of one - between my birthday and the concert - I can't remember when they were. All in all, I think it adds up to less than a dozen times drinking alcohol in over twenty years. I think that's a fairly good record. Unless you're trying to see if I have a good social life, which it doesn't look like I do. Still, these are my experiences with alcohol. So far they have not been bad.
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